Jan 30, 2012 in Relationships

We all need a shoulder

Most will undoubtedly have heard the expression We all need a shoulder to cry on. Well, read it again but stop at shoulder. In other words We all need a shoulder – full stop. Shoulders aren’t just good to cry on. They’re also good to go.

Consider the picture of two young boys posing for a camera shot. They smile from ear to ear, their muddy clothes and cuts on their arms say they’ve recently been places together – having been up to a whole lot of mischief if you ask me. And, most importantly, they do so while hanging their arms around each others’ shoulder. You know they’re solid. They’re buds… possibly best buds. They’ll take a shot for one another and this reminds me.

In primary school I had the experience of being in a couple of brawls. If you know me, you’d probably not believe it. But I’ve always had the tendency to stand up for something worth fighting for (literally or figuratively, although luckily mostly figuratively). In those days I silenced quite a few bullies but alas also got knocked down. On one particular occasion a friend came along to a well known spot where high school brawls took place regularly (note we were still in primary school).  There I were to meet my contender but the only person that showed up was… well, the much older brother (and the brother’s friend). (Alas, at times I have also pulled the older brother out of the hat-trick. So I probably shouldn’t complain). I’m not going to put a spin on this one. I got beat up so badly I think a took an emotional shot that I carry to this day. The only thing worse was that my innocent friend got beaten up  even more badly by the brother-friend; in a blood all over the place kind of way!

Sure we cried together… on each other’s shoulder to be precise. More importantly we stood together, arms around the shoulders in life.

The school fighter in primary school later became a fighter for other things worth fighting for by obtaining a postgrad degree in family therapy. What I want to say however is this. The reason, to a large extent, why there are such things as coaches, therapists, psychologists and more is that we seemed to have lost the value of standing together… arms around each others’ shoulder.

What a wonderful world it would be if I can stop doing this part of what I’m doing in  therapy as a result of people standing with their arms around each other’s shoulders, smiling ear to ear, with clothes drenched in the mud of life if needs be, and taking pictures as a testimony to life lived and life shared.







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